as we descend (into madness)

read me, scrawled out like half-finished poetry living in the margins of your favorite book

leave me – tea stained, dog earred, worn and re-examined like its pages

take me, as once I was, am now, and will be
there is no in between, no settling
(recite it like an oath)

poison dripping from their tongues as they kiss our feet yet inside they’re all just dying to feel some semblance of complete

rapt from the moment you walked in
fear no man and no opinion

letting your love abound instead of waiting for the world to love you

tenderness

soft slow kisses
our hands interwined, holding onto the moment our cells meet
skin caressing skin

when those compassionate eyes lock in with mine the tides rise, the sun sets, the city stands still

adventure with you takes form in multitudes
a trek through the wilderness, a trip across the country, an afternoon letting honest lips betray secrets

no mystery in our love, it overflows like the big brass horns on an Ella Fitzgerald tune

arrives warm and sweet like bubble baths and dinner paired with merlot over candlelight at home

in the end it all comes down to this, you’ve enraptured me in with your boundless tenderness

reset

scraped knuckles, teeth clenched,
notes crinkled, piled up in the waste bin.
half-finished thoughts and ill-conceived poetry
lines circled then crossed out in runny ink,
a once gifted orator with mouth now devoid of the right words.
so easy to emanate kindness, yet so hard to reserve a little for yourself.
every day a battle, finding healthy outlets for anger and pain, healthy ways to feel good,
even if it’s only fleeting.
After all, if there’s one thing you’ll learn (again and again), it’s that nothing is permanent
except chasing light through the endless darkness,
shouting out after love and happiness.

Love Letter

no longer waiting patiently for access,
all dressed up and gunning for it.
no longer craving attention,
all grown up and swimming in it.

years of bruised elbows and broken hearts to transcend to these heights,
bask in the glory of all this self-confidence.

dark skin and deep brown eyes, born in the fire,
quick wit, cold style, let it envelop the world.

kiss him in the streets of San Francisco, in alleways in New Orleans, on the beaches of Florida,
and hold back nothing.

two lessons, trite but true – not a thing can hurt you without your permission, and this life is what you make of it.

It’s Fall Again

get carried off like carrion
arms limp, eyes pried open
gawking at the waning ground

floating free
clouds sliding past your feet
blood still hot and dripping from you

from scene to scene in vivid color
mistakes may appear larger than triumphs in the mirror
try not to be too alarmed

died to feel the burden of someone else’s thoughts,
the heat of passion, the shame of lust
rebelled a thousand times just fall in line, eventually

laughing at all the men you once thought you wanted to be
there are no bright lights here, no angels
only imperfect beings doing their best to survive

seeking refuge
seeking love
seeking meaning

Atheist Baptism

Two steps forward, one step back
paths divide like cells
all we sinners dressed in black
ringing mourning bells

stayed for a minute, in the
soft glow of the light
poised yet full of yearning
passion about you, hot and bright
desires disconcerting

We were two, then one, then two again,
as if we never even started
but that’s the flow of life
here one day, the next – departed.