no longer waiting patiently for access,
all dressed up and gunning for it.
no longer craving attention,
all grown up and swimming in it.
years of bruised elbows and broken hearts to transcend to these heights,
bask in the glory of all this self-confidence.
dark skin and deep brown eyes, born in the fire,
quick wit, cold style, let it envelop the world.
kiss him in the streets of San Francisco, in alleways in New Orleans, on the beaches of Florida,
and hold back nothing.
two lessons, trite but true – not a thing can hurt you without your permission, and this life is what you make of it.
r a w l u s t
drinking in wine and heat
gnawing at the insides, propagating til it’s slipping out through every crevice
selfish, all encompasing,
r a g i n g d e s i r e
same old mistakes bathed in
laughing from the bridge at drowned insecurities
everything in technicolor for the first time
is it wrong to want to feel alive?
hands tied, legs free.
red hot to the touch
eyes, lips, fingertips consuming every square inch of new territory
fears ringing through bone
swimming in stomach acid
wildest fantasies realized
convinced “the right thing” doesn’t exist
convinced it’s all ever just been bullshit
wrapped in plastic with a bow on it
Sometimes looking back
you get livid with yourself
for being angry/pathetic/vulnerable when you shouldn’t have been
the permanence of the past rapping at the chamber door to your soul
find solace in the fact that while the past is permanent
the past has passed
Tea cooling next to love letters on the window sill,
dreams real yet surreal, almost tangible.
Sea and mountains in your lungs,
memories, monuments to beloved moments past.
Lessons sewn into your very marrow,
tangled up with the movements of your unconscious mind.
Breathing in every millisecond,
each precious opportunity for growth and death.
Growth and death, an endless cycle,
swirling in your teacup, like leaves
in the autumn breeze.
A sudden rush of emotion
withheld, censored, eyes closed
immersed in the ocean
Clear blue skies, muddled intentions
breaking life open
skirting the law, another family tradition
The seams can’t be sewn together again
A rush of ambition, of love, of blood
“Quick before it all turns to dust”
A demigod among men, eternally lamenting
Cool clean air and remnants of the past line the avenues.
Cafés on every other corner, magic spent with a love that’s true.
Loves, lives long lost – extinct.
Enveloped in the winding hills,
Entranced by hazy blue skies,
Could use another week (a month, a year) away,
Lost in the city by the bay.